Not a great one for change me……
I like to think of myself as a floaty, go with the flow, laid back type of person.
Erm, well that went plan tits up then. For a very long list of boring reasons (ones I shall save you from) I’ve found I am actually a creature of habit, routine and continuity.
So when big change happens… Health issues, husbands having heart attacks, my horrid mother behaving like she is the next in line to take over from Satan himself, it tends to take me a good while to shake my tails feather and get back to normal.
Then I thought, what actually is normal? If life is constantly changing to accommodate all the good things and the bad things that are thrown at us, that surely means there is no constant…no norm.
This thought didn’t compute with the tumbleweed in my head. The shift of life, the change of circumstances, the pace of movement caused a low lying anxiety and, on top of the other issues that occur in my brain, that’s not the best mix.
So when I had a Eureka moment I got awfully excited. Like many of my ‘moments’ I was on the loo . It’s the second best place I tend to have my best ideas, a close second after the bath that is (just in case you were wondering). Total genius can occur in a hot bubble bath. Think, undiscovered Einstein… yup thats me.
Anyway, my Eureka moment was this; The NEW normal. I think it fits and gels quite well with a brain, person, personality type that doesn’t relish all the change in the world.
Its like a continuity concept to trick brains that like to have a tantrum when a bad or scary thing happens. Rather than thinking that the worst thing has happened, the change is unacceptable, too unusual, too radical, too different from the norm. Just run the actual issue past you, verbalising it, as that helps process the information…..”Oooooooo whats this?” Fear not, run this change (good or bad) (the new norm) past your working memory, this then tootles off to your short term memory, then eventually processed into your long term memory. Thinking differently about the issue and how you think and manage this change will, thanks to neuroplasticity, eventually train yourself to deal with change (good or bad ) in a more constructive way.
Im finding this is actually working a little after losing my beloved Pixie Pug a couple of weeks ago. Mini and I are adjusting to the new normal and although its bloody weird and disturbing. I have turned the mind numbing sadness on its head and decided to think of life without her as just a different normal.
Its more gentle, less harsh on the senses. Its important to be kind to ourselves and change can be harsh. So I’ve changed change.
So if you’re facing changes, going through a very hard time, maybe give this way of thinking a go. Id love to know what you think. After all its our thought process that dictates how well we function…. if our mids are healthy so are we.
A new normal…can it be accomplished? Im trying my hardest to add it to my toolbox (mentioned in previous blog)
Lots of love