I like daft. I like silly. Always did and always will. However using humour became my coping mechanism of choice and my way of functioning especially when I lost my husband Justin. I was 34 at this time. He was on a bike ride, just past our home with our children who were 10 and 11. They cycled up the hill and that was that, our lives changed forever.
He was the love of my life, the gnome to my toadstool. I will spare you the very sad events that obviously followed. As awful as that day was, I consciously made the choice a few hours later to not let this devastating event wreck my children, I was not going to let sadness define them. I decided to be honest and open from the start. It was extra tricky in our house because I was meant to die first from my brain tumour. Which obviously hasnt happened because here I am writing to myself and hopefully a few others.
Fast forward a number of years, many tears and smiles later, Justin now watches over us from above and now David carries the baton for our family. I have been very blessed to love and have been loved twice.
The reason I have posted this blog is, with Christmas looming, emotions are hightened. Mine were all over the place the Christmas after Justin died. I was fiercely grieving, but it was the loneliness that was all consuming. On Boxing day, after my dad had left to go home, I sat with my laptop and a bottle of bubbles (bloody lethal combination) looking at blah blah online. I came to the conclusion that much later down the line I would need to allow room for two gnomes in my life, (fun fact, one lunch date was with an actual dwarf but thats for another day).
Life is frighteninly short, seize that moment and find your gnome. If life has pooped on you, find that second gnome. Failing that, sod the gnomes, drink gin ! That said really, really try and never give up on the chance to be “your kind of happy”. Its desperatly easy to cave in, but its oh so much more fabulous to try and give happiness a real bash. I’m not saying we all need to be with someone to be happy, however my ‘happy’ comes in the form of working as a team, partnership, marriage. So I made a choice to be happy again and poor David was the chosen one.
Before I go, I thought I’d tell you about Reg and Elsie, our happy gnome couple, who are currently residing in my living room. David and I were visiting his folks up North last weekend, like literally the Scottish borders kinda North. God help me, my Southern umblicial cord was twanging like a toddler force fed on steriods! I digress, I was a canny lass (see I can speak Northumberlandish ) and found these THREE FOOT gnomes north of Newcastle on Ebay, so after a slight detour from our journey to the folks of the North, we picked up these bad boys. Yes we did indeed recieve many many funny looks driving across the country! Some not in a good way at all!
I blame my parents, I usually do for most things! However they instilled this daft bloody gnome love problem I have aquired. So to have found these hoooge ones is a cracker of a result! Happy Christmas parents ha ha ha!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Our lives are so busy, so it really means a great deal. I hope its makes you smile and maybe gives you a nudge, if a nudge is needed, to go and find what makes you “your kind of happy”. To me thats the spirit of this season… Happiness…..lets sprinkle it everywhere, alongside confetti and unicorn rainbow farts! It would be great if you wanted to leave a comment. Then I wouldnt have to send Reg round to beat you up! 😉
Lots of love
Nancy xxx
Fabulous! You have such stength..insparational. With Love X
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Your attitude and outlook is so refreshing- right now my husband Dan the man is in end stage cancer and I am sure people find out attitude weird. What he wants is life to continue on as normally as possible ( academy award winner here) so I am as strong as I can be for him and I can have my fall apart moments later. I love your posts- and I wish you all the luck that a little avocado fairy deserves,
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HOW DID I MISS THIS??? I never received a notification and I normally do! I am so sorry you must think me very rude ! I totally understand your way of thinking and falling apart later is all good and well as long as you have good support. I have been a little bit rubbish on IG lately so I’m going to come by and say hi again properly on there. Im sending a huge squishy hug my lovely . Thank you for your very kind words xxx
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Oh wow Nancy, I was aware of your health problems but I had no idea about the tragedy of losing your first husband. How brave to write about this, but at the same time how utterly inspiring to show that life does go on, and it’s only you who can make a difference in how you live your life.
I thought you were an inspiring lady before reading this, but wow you have just sky-rocketed in my estimations. Thank you so much for sharing this. Yes, life is short and yes, life is what we make it, so it’s time to go out and do what needs to be done. Thank you and good luck with the gnome wrapping! xxx
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Such a strong lady…..Always in awe of you ❤ xxx
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Well likewise my lovely, takes one to know one xxx
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What an amazing and inspirational story 💜 So glad I took the time out to read your story. Thank you for sharing 💛
Sue xx
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My pleasure and thanks so much for the lovely message you left me xxx
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A heart full of love makes this world a better place! So glad I have the honour of reading your words. Thank you for sharing with us xx
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Gosh thank you ever so much, your words mean as much as mine xxx
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Lovely story Nance.
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Thank you Biliam, big hugs to you xxx
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As you know I commented this morning but then it disappeared…so here it goes again. I cried, I laughed and then I laughed a bit more. Nance I think you’re flipping brilliant and your strength and positivity is so inspiring. After everything you have been dealt, I salute you Mrs! You are one of the loveliest and kindness ladies I know. Meeting you was one of the best things to come out of all the madness of being your “brainiac buddy”, but in spite of all that you really do show me how to look for the positive and to tell life to “sod off” when it all gets a bit much. Thank you for being you, you wonderful soul. All my love Xxx
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Well this just finished me off utterly!!!! Literally. Totally. Im going to give you the biggest sloppiest kisses ever when I see you next week!!xxx
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Love you Nancy fancy pants xxx
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Awwww right back at cha!!! xxx
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Very moving , and very funny too. You got me crying and laughing at the same time! Can’t wait to read your next post!
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Thank you very much my lovely…Im aiming for no sadness in my next post! Cant have that near Crimbo! xxx
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You are a strong lady, brave and just a bit crazy!!! Lovely post xx
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Aww thank you Niki, thats really kid of you to say.Some might say just a tad more than bit crazy ! Helps though doesn’t it!?
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Oh Nancy..what a lovely and loving post. You know Justin is laughing his ass off at the sight of your two new gnomes!
And thank you David for bringing love and a happy place to Nancy, Toby and Freya’s lives.
Deborah
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I hope he is, thank you Deborah for your lovely words. David is incredible, they would have been great friends xxx
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oh my goodness Im really very honoured!! xxx
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Hi Nancy, thank you so so very much for your heartfelt words. I am so very sorry that you lost your husband but absolutely thrilled that you have found love again 🙂 🙂 :-). I lost my husband a year ago last June and as you know the holidays are really crummy. But your words really did inspire me to keep going forward and I love you for that. I will march right over to Pinterest and follow you there :-). I have gingerbread snowflakes to thank for that; what a dear she is! Have yet to meet her in person, but we will one day 😎. Much love to you Nancy, from another Nancy :-).
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Hello namesake!!! Just getting up to date after the holiday. Im so glad my words helped a little. You’re right about gingerbread and snowflakes!!! She’s a poppet. Im sending you a whopping big hug to you now xxx
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Oh good grief, I meant Instagram! But you probably already knew that :-).
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Very sad, very inspirational, very happy and very funny. You’re a very special lady, oh but you’re a FaiRy so that explains it! The thing that made me laugh was the pic of Reg with his seatbelt, it’s what I would have done.. Jo xxxxx
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You know the same all applies to you, I just have fairy in my title which gives me more gravitas 😂😂. Thank you for your kindness Jo xxx
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Loving your blog posts hon, grammatically correct or not. You have the knack of making me smile – which is definitely a good thing! Love the gnomes too… Hugs, J9 xx
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That’s a really lovely thing to say, thank you so much xxx
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Awe you make me smile – thank you for the kind words – dan passed away on the 10th and I swear I am in ADD overload can’t focus on anything – so hoping I can get to my yarn tomorrow and do something other than leave a trail of craziness lol
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WHY am I not getting your notifications. I am so so sorry to read this. I’m sending you so much love. I hope you are being looked after 😕
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